The Forrest Gump Guide to Writing That Bites Readers in the Buttocks

Forrest-Gump

Southern Gentleman (John Worsham): “It was a bullet, wasn’t it?”
Forrest: “A bullet?”
Southern Gentleman: “That jumped up and bit you.”
Forrest: “Oh. Yes, sir. Bit me directly in the but-tocks.”

BANG.

One moment, you’re checking your email or surfing the web or browsing through the aisles of Barnes & Noble, minding your own business, doing nobody any harm, and that’s when it happens…

You read something that jumps up and bites you in the buttocks.

It’s so beautifully written, so painfully true, you can’t help feeling like you just got shot. No, it’s not a physical wound, but you can feel the ideas kicking around inside you, and you know somehow that they’ll stay with you for a very long time.

Maybe you even wonder how you can write like that yourself. So few can.

With blogging in particular, most writing is pitiful, full of shallow ideas and poorly told stories. The posts are hardly memorable, much less capable of making readers feel like they just took a physical blow.

The good news is Forrest Gump is here to help. Here are some of the best lines from the movie, along with advice on exactly how you can up your game: More

5 Silly Ways You’re Sabotaging Your Blog without Even Realizing It

5 Silly Ways You’re Sabotaging Your Blog without Even Realizing It

Now, now, now. Don’t even try to pretend it isn’t true.

Let me guess…

You spend hours on Twitter and Facebook “working,” only to wonder later if you really accomplished anything.

You comment on the blogs of bigwig bloggers, telling yourself you’re “networking,” nevermind that none of those comments actually lead to anything.

You have a growing collection of books and courses promising to teach you all the secrets in the universe, but they sit in that “to be read” folder collecting dust.

In the back of your mind, you know you can do better. Technically, you even know what to do.

But something inside you refuses to let you, and every day you struggle with whether or not you should just give up or find some other shortcut.

You know how I know this?

Because I’m you. More

5 Strange and Wondrous Techniques for Spicing up Your Writing

5 Strange and Wondrous Techniques for Spicing up Your Writing

Happens to the best of us, you know.

We’ve all been told to let the words flow loose and easy and free, but instead, we stiffen up like a British banker before his annual rectal exam.

It feels horrible too. Instead of enjoying writing like we’re supposed to, we end up gritting our teeth through the entire experience, knowing something just ain’t right but feeling so uncomfortable that we can’t help sounding like a robot.

The good news is that deliverance is at hand. Like any good friend, I hereby pronounce myself ready to pry said stick out of your posterior, curing you of robotitus once and for all.

Let us begin. More

58 Tips for Transforming Your Blog and Dazzling Your Readers

58 Tips for Transforming Your Blog and Dazzling Your Readers

Let’s face it…

We’ve all been deceived.

Once upon a time, we looked at blogging and thought, “Oh, I can do that. Writing a few posts a week? Piece of cake.” From the outside, it looks so simple, so easy, so fun, and so we rushed off to start a blog of our own.

But then we get a rude awakening:

This stuff is complicated. Blogging isn’t so much about writing blog posts as juggling dozens of little odds and ends, all of them important, all of them demanding your attention, and all of them requiring you to learn something.

And it’s easy to drop the ball, so to speak, or even all of them. Not because you want to neglect anything, but because it’s too much to keep track of.

What you really need is a checklist of sorts – an itemized breakdown of everything you need to do to transform your blog and dazzle your readers. That way, you can stop trying to handle everything all at once and just go through it one step at a time.

So, that’s what I created for you. Here are 58 things you need to do, along with some links to help you learn how to do them well.

Enjoy. 🙂 More

Suicide, Shame, and the Painful Truth about Accomplishing Your Goals

Suicide, Shame, and the Painful Truth about Accomplishing Your Goals

I was in agony.

Waves of pain unimaginable shot down my spine, causing every muscle in my body to contract as if I’d been shocked with 20,000 volts of electricity. My back arched up at an unnatural angle. My arms and legs began to shake.

One moment, I was on a webinar talking to a few hundred people about traffic, walking them through exactly how to build a popular blog. The next, everything went dark. I was still conscious, but just barely.

Underneath the layers of pain, I remember thinking, “You can’t pass out. You have to finish talking about how to build an email list.” Of course, the pain was so bad I’d forgotten how to freaking see, much less pontificate on the intricacies of opt in pages.

So, I stopped. I waited a few seconds. My vision slowly returned, and I was able to wiggle the mouse up to the “Mute” button again.

For the next several minutes, I just sat there, quivering and trying to catch my breath as waves of pain continued up and down my spine. Eventually, the pain receded somewhat, and I wiggled the mouse back up to the “Mute” button again.

“Sorry folks,” I said. “Looks like GoToWebinar is having some technical difficulties. Can everyone hear me now?”

They said they could. We finished the webinar. Immediately afterward, I went to bed and stayed there for the next 16 hours.

And the worst part?

It was a normal day. I’d nearly collapsed on several webinars, not just that one. You might’ve even been on one of them.

Part of me worried if I was about to die. Another part hoped I would, just to be free of the pain.

I was at the end of my rope. One way or another, things were about to change.

Hold on, though. Let’s back up a bit. More