About Jon Morrow

Posts by Jon Morrow:

The Forrest Gump Guide to Writing That Bites Readers in the Buttocks

Forrest-Gump

Southern Gentleman (John Worsham): “It was a bullet, wasn’t it?”
Forrest: “A bullet?”
Southern Gentleman: “That jumped up and bit you.”
Forrest: “Oh. Yes, sir. Bit me directly in the but-tocks.”
BANG.

One moment, you’re checking your email or surfing the web or browsing through the aisles of Barnes & Noble, minding your own business, doing nobody any harm, and that’s when it happens…

You read something that jumps up and bites you in the buttocks.

It’s so beautifully written, so painfully true, you can’t help feeling like you just got shot. No, it’s not a physical wound, but you can feel the ideas kicking around inside you, and you know somehow that they’ll stay with you for a very long time.

Maybe you even wonder how you can write like that yourself. So few can.

With blogging in particular, most writing is pitiful, full of shallow ideas and poorly told stories. The posts are hardly memorable, much less capable of making readers feel like they just took a physical blow.

The good news is Forrest Gump is here to help. Here are some of the best lines from the movie, along with advice on exactly how you can up your game: More

5 Strange and Wondrous Techniques for Spicing up Your Writing

5 Strange and Wondrous Techniques for Spicing up Your Writing

Happens to the best of us, you know.

We’ve all been told to let the words flow loose and easy and free, but instead, we stiffen up like a British banker before his annual rectal exam.

It feels horrible too. Instead of enjoying writing like we’re supposed to, we end up gritting our teeth through the entire experience, knowing something just ain’t right but feeling so uncomfortable that we can’t help sounding like a robot.

The good news is that deliverance is at hand. Like any good friend, I hereby pronounce myself ready to pry said stick out of your posterior, curing you of robotitus once and for all.

Let us begin. More

Suicide, Shame, and the Painful Truth about Accomplishing Your Goals

Suicide, Shame, and the Painful Truth about Accomplishing Your Goals

I was in agony.

Waves of pain unimaginable shot down my spine, causing every muscle in my body to contract as if I’d been shocked with 20,000 volts of electricity. My back arched up at an unnatural angle. My arms and legs began to shake.

One moment, I was on a webinar talking to a few hundred people about traffic, walking them through exactly how to start a blog and make it popular. The next, everything went dark. I was still conscious, but just barely.

Underneath the layers of pain, I remember thinking, “You can’t pass out. You have to finish talking about how to build an email list.” Of course, the pain was so bad I’d forgotten how to freaking see, much less pontificate on the intricacies of opt in pages.

So, I stopped. I waited a few seconds. My vision slowly returned, and I was able to wiggle the mouse up to the “Mute” button again.

For the next several minutes, I just sat there, quivering and trying to catch my breath as waves of pain continued up and down my spine. Eventually, the pain receded somewhat, and I wiggled the mouse back up to the “Mute” button again.

“Sorry folks,” I said. “Looks like GoToWebinar is having some technical difficulties. Can everyone hear me now?”

They said they could. We finished the webinar. Immediately afterward, I went to bed and stayed there for the next 16 hours.

And the worst part?

It was a normal day. I’d nearly collapsed on several webinars, not just that one. You might’ve even been on one of them.

Part of me worried if I was about to die. Another part hoped I would, just to be free of the pain.

I was at the end of my rope. One way or another, things were about to change.

Hold on, though. Let’s back up a bit. More

21 Warning Signs You Chose the Wrong Topic for Your Blog

21 Warning Signs You Chose the Wrong Topic for Your Blog

You’ve wondered, right?

Back when you started your blog, you were just stoked to be a blogger. You picked a topic that seemed interesting, fired up WordPress, and proceeded to write your heart out, certain you would eventually gather a following, and it would all prove worthwhile.

But now you’re getting a little worried.

You’re not getting much traffic. You’re not getting many comments. You’re not making money at all.

Not that you haven’t tried, of course. You’ve done all the things popular bloggers say to do, like publishing great content packed with power words and commenting on other popular blogs and getting accounts on Twitter and Facebook, but no matter how hard you work, no matter how many different techniques you try, none of it is working.

So you wonder…

Could you have screwed yourself in the beginning?

Could you have chosen a topic for your blog that never has a chance of becoming popular?

Could you in fact be wasting your time trying to keep your blog alive, when really the only sensible thing to do is junk it and start over?

Well… let’s find out. More

14 Devious Tactics for Getting More Comments on Your Blog Posts

14 Devious Tactics for Getting More Comments on Your Blog Posts

You have a lot to be proud of, you know.

Most folks who start a blog quit within a few weeks, their dreams of fame and glory crushed by a cold and uncaring world who doesn’t give a damn what they think.

But you?

You hung in there. You kept writing. You’re even managing to get a little bit of traffic.

And you’re pleased with your progress. Rightfully so.

The only problem:

You’re not getting many comments. More